Soft foods for supper again Father has a toothache Searing shocks running through the nerves We’ve no money for the dentist
A pack of frozen peas, his only solace He sits and groans Sits and groans
“I can’t take it anymore”, says he, heading for the door A bottle shrouded in crinkled brown paper has been carefully tucked under his arm
Evening comes Mother is at the sewing machine I quietly play on the carpet beside her
A loud racket gives us a start Muffled laughter fades into a groan A short struggle, then the doorknob turns
In stumbles Father Moonshine in one hand, the other a closed fist A trade has been made Moonshine for dentistry
Marching over to Mother with a hollow gummy grin Father places 32 teeth down on the sewing machine Moonshine for dentistry
One bad apple can spoil the bunch.
*This poem was based on an excerpt from my Grandmother’s diary, (shown below)*
“I remember one time when my dad had a tooth ache. So he got a quart of moonshine and then went to see the dentist. Well him and that dentist got drunk and he pulled every tooth my dad had. When my dad got home, he laid his teeth down on the sewing machine. I thought my mom was going to pass out.”
I’m not really self-conscious about my body. I don’t have a problem with my shape, size, skin, etc.
No, that’s not really true. Don’t get me wrong, I have insecurities just like the rest of the world. I guess what I should say is that I’m content with what I have enough to not let it hinder my daily life. I do love that my skin and hair make me unique and separate me from a vast majority of the world’s population. I know that being ginger, I’ve been given something rare and beautiful. That being said, I’ve never really been satisfied with many self portraits I’ve taken.
I find myself always wanting to take self portraits the way that I would with my models, focusing on the clothing and positioning my body in what should be the most flattering. I am, by no means, a model. And I’m ok with that. I think the struggle that I constantly face is that as a photographer, surrounded by beautiful models on a regular basis, I get caught up in the work, wanting to make it aesthetically pleasing to the general public as much as possible. This is never usually my original goal when I do self portraits. I mean to express myself the way that I am.
I made a conscious effort to take self portraits that represent who I am as a person. I’m not quite sure why I had to concentrate on this so much, as my personality should be easy enough for me to photograph. I think sometimes as a photographer I get in this mind-set that everything in the frame needs to be perfect, including the subject. Problem is, perfection is not necessarily what I am trying to capture. It’s a fight between doing what I would for fashion editorials and what I’m actually looking for in myself.
As I thought about it more, I realized that in order to capture who I am, I also need to capture part of what made me who I am. Hence the ‘couple’ photos. Throughout my relationship with my loving husband, Amir, I have evolved into a completely different person than I was 10 years ago. I’ve noticed many changes in myself, all positive, that I know I can link directly to his presence in my life. And the best part about it all, is that he is a photographer and artist too, and understood my need to express myself. He even went so far as to join me.
I am a firm believer that all photographers should do a few self-portrait series in their lifetime. I think that being on the other side of the camera can give you a different perspective on not only your work but on what your models are doing. Try to remove yourself from what other people think and show what you want to show.
This is how I chose to introduce myself to the world. I know art is subjective, and not everyone is going to see it the same way. So here’s the deal, I’m gonna be me, you’re gonna be you and we’ll all live happily together inside of a shoe… or whatever.
Kathy Saidi 