The Polaroid Project

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I decided to do something different this year, and document all of the significant photoshoots I’ve done. (I say significant, because as a professional photographer for a wholesale clothing company, I frequently shoot throughout the year for our online catalog. I don’t include these as they are not creative or big productions whatsoever.)

I meant for it to be more like private research so that I can kind of keep track of my productivity, and use it as a way to keep myself motivated to shoot more. But somehow, it turned into a project by itself.

As I collected more images, either behind the scenes, or photos of the models, I noticed that when the photos were grouped together, they almost look like one piece. Each image has its own feel and mood, but because they’re shot the same way and have a cohesive look to them, they all fit together.

It’s like looking through the history of my work, in a more creative and interesting way. Not at all what I had expected. But beautiful on its own.

{For more of my work, visit my Instagram}

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Blue Swept Visions

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You can’t unsee what you’ve done. The train wreck in your mind, torturing you like a million ants climbing up your spine, just out of reach.

You can’t take it back. You can’t move on. You’re stuck in your head, sucked down by regret. The darkness leaks in like oil. You can’t unsee it.

It stays forever. Burned into your mind, you can almost hear the searing flesh.

You can’t unsee it. You can’t unsee it. You can’t unsee it.

{For more of my work, visit my Instagram}

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Blue Swept Lies

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Someone is talking to you. They’re talking and talking and talking and you’re suffocating. You’re drowning in a sea of words and all you want to do is scream and run and fight and you can’t take it anymore, so you push back.

You push with words. You push with what you know will strike at the heart. You push with evil. You take the closest thing to them and transform it into a negative, breaking them down. Breaking them into tiny fragments, sharp like glass. You push harder and harder, the words falling out of your mouth like vomit and you can’t stop. You can’t see what you’re doing.

You’re destroying them with words to get them to shut up and you know you’re losing them forever….

{For more of my work, visit my Instagram}

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Feel Something With Me

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Photography has always been a way to capture the world as it truly is; vivid colors, beauty, devastation, culture, etc. It tells no lies and makes people feel like they are there with the photographer, standing next to them as they adjust the shutter and f/stop of the camera. They see what the photographer sees through the lens of the camera, and nothing more.

This is not what I want to bring to the world of photography. I want people to not only see what I see through the lens of my camera, but I want them to feel something. Anything. I want to use my photography to bring people to think beyond the image itself and into their own interpretation of the work and how it makes them feel. I want my photography to inspire people.

When I look at the world around me, I don’t just see the surrounding scenery. I see shadows, light and detail that can all be transformed into something else, or manipulated in a way to make your eye jump from one part of the image to another. I guess you could say that my mind works for the camera. I have an image of what the final piece is going to look like before I have even captured the first image.

I want to be able to dedicate my time to photographs of the world as I see it, or as I dream it. I believe that my photography can transform simple objects into dramatic displays of light and dark, color and black and white, beauty and despair; I want everyone to witness the images my mind produces for me before a camera is ever raised to my eye.

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I was once told that art isn’t really art unless it makes you feel something. Feel something with me.

{For more from this series and others, visit my Instagram}

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Creative People in Public Schools: An Essay

Ok, so it’s not really an essay.

Look, here’s the deal…

I don’t really like venting to the general public, but there are some things that really just need to be said. Today’s topic: creative people in public schools.

Now, I’m sure many of my fellow creatives have been told the same thing as I have: ‘art doesn’t pay the bills.’  As a young student, generally grades K-12, kids are encouraged to take “elective” classes: art, photography, ceramics, etc. And that’s all those classes are. Electives.  But to some of us, they’re not just electives. That’s what we want to do with our lives. Only problem is, nobody tells you about art schools in high school,* it’s like it was forbidden or something.

*Yes, the is a generalized statement, there are some schools that do mention art colleges, but the majority of public schools in this country like to push people more towards academic schools. (Especially after they cut major funding to the arts and physical education departments nation wide.)

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For the longest time, I never wanted to go to college. There was nothing there for me. I’m not good at math, I’m ok at english but I don’t want to be a teacher or journalist, science is cool and all, but it generally involves, you know, math, and electives are just for funsies, right? No. Stop telling people this.

There was a teacher I had in high school, Brett Tujague. who always supported my love for photography and was the one that convinced me, in the end to go to college. Not necessarily for photography, mind you, as he was in the same boat the rest of them were with the whole art thing. But never the less, he encouraged me to go to a 4 year college to ‘see what I liked.’ And I will admit, the two years I spent at CSU Monterey Bay weren’t completely wasted. I took some amazing classes that I feel made my education a little more rounded. Feminist theories, beginning business, communications, science, and of course, photography. I definitely enjoyed my time there, and had a really fun job as a CSO Officer at our campus police station, which also broadened my horizons as a person.

At some point during my time, I was doing some photography research online and found this school, Brooks Institute, that specialized specifically in commercial photography. I sent out for a course packet to see what they were all about, and that was that. I was a Brookie from then on.

The point is, you can be a professional photographer or artist. Instead of telling people it can’t be done, you really need to get into the reality of the situation here. You just have to be smart about it. Don’t get in the mind-set that art can’t be taught, because believe me, it can. Especially with a technical medium like photography, it’s really important to go to school and learn all you can about your art form. Brooks Institute and the amazing teachers there* taught me more about photography than I had ever hoped to learn. It’s a difficult, (and expensive) road, and you’ll get a lot of rejection and struggle along the way, but you can, in fact, be an artist for a living. You’ve just got to look at it a little differently. 

*Shout out to Ralph Clevenger, Paul Meyer, Eliot Crowley and Bill Robbins!

There are a lot of artists who won’t sacrifice their vision for money, and I get it, we’re usually a pretty stubborn bunch. But for the rest of us who don’t want to be stuck at a desk job, or customer service knowing we will never be passionate about it, we’ve got to find a way to do what we were meant to do. It’s ok to gear yourself towards a commercial form of art. The way I see it, commercial art is still creative, and it pays the bills. You can always do your own art along the way, but at least your day job isn’t slowly killing you inside.

“Ignoring your passion is slow suicide. Never ignore what your heart pumps for. Build your career around your lifestyle, not your lifestyle around your career.” – Kevin Claiborne

{To see more of my work, visit my Instagram}

**On a more sad (and horribly ironic) note: About 2 minutes after posting this blog and tagging my totally awesome teachers in it, Paul Meyer replied back saying they just announced TODAY that Brooks Institute is closing for good on October 31st, 2016. After being open for 70 years of higher education, I am proud to say that I am one of the ones who graduated before it all ended. I would not be the same person I am today without the inspiration and knowledge given to me by the wonderful faculty of Brooks Institute. It saddens me to know that future generations will not be able to experience Blue Spheres, 6 Pack, Grey Box, Black Glass, (whispy-dos and whispy-dont’s included), and many other tedious assignments that turned people who like to take pictures into professional photographers. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

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